KUNDI-MAN [PBUH; place bum upon him]

I take great pride in posting this piece here... My hearty congrats to the author for the first episode of the Kundiman Project :"Kundiman Begins"...This happens in a galaxy far far away...and has been happening for way to long ..

KUNDIMAN’S LIFESTORY
BAD BUT GOOD DAY
One day there was a boy named Jamie. He loved cycling. He used to go to school on his cycle everyday. One day he saw the three meanest bully’s of the school. Andy, Axel & Joe. They saw him & came towards him. He wanted to escape but he couldn’t go away because he was already late for school and there was no place to hide. By This time they had already reached him. “Watcha doing wimp” asked Ax. He didn’t answer. He tried to ignore them & started walking when Andy blocked him. “Wait there Jam I have a little present for you on Christmas”. Jamie replied “I know that your gift will be stupid you jerk”. Andy got angry. “I know how to take care of this problem”. He pushed Jamie right into puddle of mud & they went away laughing. Ax said “Take this as your X’mas gift wimp”. He was covered with mud. He was so angry. How could he go to school like this? He thought. He ran fast & reached the school gate. He went right in & reached his class right on time. He got into his class without looking at anyone. His teacher Mrs.Pimpleweed saw him & asked him “Where were you Jamie?” He replied “I got bullied on the way” She thought for a while. Then she said “That’s not my problem, it is your responsibility to look after yourself.” “That’s detention for you.” Some children started giggling. It was not his fault he got bullied he thought. After a horrible day of school he had to go to detention & the worst part was he had to stay at school with the teacher watching his every move. He never knew how detention was as it was his first time and he really did hate cuz Andy, Axel & Joe were there too. He tried to think of an excuse to get out of there. The only thing he could think of was the toilet. He asked her “Madam, may I go to the toilet” asking it in a very kind manner to make sure she would fall for the trick. “Well…………ok.” in a rather annoying way. “But I’m warning you if you don’t come back in 10 minutes you will get detention for the rest of the week.” Detention for the rest of the week! That would be the worst thing that could happen. He came out of the room quite disappointed. His plan had worked at the same time failed. Anyway now that there was no use trying to escape detention he thought there was no use but to go to the toilet cuz he felt like going to the toilet now. He liked almost all the superheroes and sat shiting on “thee seat” and thinking how life would be if he was a superhero. He was so much into it that he forgot the time fly by. He quickly got up (after cleaning his butt) and went to wash his hands. Just when he was going to leave he remembered to flush (which usually happens to me) and then something very strange happened right out the “thee seat”.