Forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit.

Here I am ... I'm at a juncture in time .. where in I shouldn't be .. how do i put it.. I'dnt know ..it's totally fucked up... Nothing colateral has occured .. but all that has is enough to send me spinning whirring and wired up for an eternity.. I didnt have to hear a series of crying over the phone.. it did me no good.. and how much of good is coming out of the whole ordeal.. none that i know of... but here we are at it again... Bah.. i dont want to rant about it.. too much of negatvitiy is the only thing bound to come out of it....

"Sunishcitam Aashcaryavat"

Half Blood Pauper

How weird is it for people to have a ten(that's just a number) faces ... I mean how on earth and how fake and stupid is it that we have to continually keep selling ourself as something we are not ... Is it worth the hassle we go through... do we lose track of who we are ...in this chaotic commotion ...is it like do we all get a chance to be John Malkovich... and when we eventually turn into Malkovich do we forget ourselves completely does it reach a point of no return where we turn into a shallow pitiable Gollum of our previous selves... Is that what greed and selfish vanity does to each of us?

Look around you ...you find mutated freaks ... Freaks who don't remember who they are where they came from where they are headed to why they turned into this vulgar grotesque human form... Indeed a matter worth pondering over... How much of pain should be inflicted upon each of us to be tempered into that perfect human ... Is the die we are all cast in so different that some of us are scouraged over and over again to bemuse some the creator... Is this hand picked society that we have been made to dwell in .. the people we have been asked to work with live with ..upto his discretion... Then why does he show the tip the tip of the iceberg and take it all away from you.. Is this life a compilation of trailers and teaser trailers previews and glimpses into a time that will be.. or a hallucigin induced present is the only way we can experience it....

Rastafarian Overstanding...

Yes ... I've come to realize that any wish made fortha true desire and a noble cuase shall be answered ....For there lies no Bad Karma to bring upon the demise of a true wish... It was an awakening of the inner self.. undescribable...if youve'nt witnessed it on your own... Barricades open themselves and let tehe flood gates barge in to bury away...

Life gives you another chance to get back at the stuff you want to .. if u hang around with the will long enough.. It kinda tends to show you that amidst all the storms that it can brew up if u persevere...

Honestly it's been a while since some kinda inner tranquility has been restored... atleast temporarily.. It felt good... and it's been so long since that has happened...

Cynicorcist: The Beginning

Strange isn't it ... the way people behave ...over time how we change... for better or for worse.. how indecisive we are ... It's intriguing... Life has taken it's rollercoaster ride yet again.. and I'm reigning in the pure uncertain premise of my life... I find the simplest of tasks at hand admonishing at times. Nonetheless I've had enough of the "Why hath Thou forsaken me?" attitude... I've been walking away for way too long.. I'm surrounded my nothingness in terms of people and realtionships... I could truly exhault my self to the status of being the loneliest person on the planet... But then again it's in that solitary confinement that I feel content. So am I Rubin Carter waiting to turn into a Papillion ....

I'm a wretched soul tormented by the slightest pertext ...wilting wimpering wondering... if there shall ever be a Phoenix to come about from this... to exorcize the demons within...