In Good Company

YES... the movie was for every KIDult ..for every ADULT-escent out there... It was my movie... I liked it ...No i enjoyed it... Why coz i had this conversation with elke earlier in the day .. and we were talking abt this certain thing that we were talking abt ... my predicament ... or let's say this certain juxtaposition that i'm in ... it was as though the silver screen was playing it out to me... like i told her... the yr has engaged in some kinda re-wiring my inner circuitry ... where by im turning into this sap ... this uber-romantic of some kind... It's probably got something to with being on the planet for almost a quarter century now... well let's just say there's this agenda i've .. the Tony Montana philosophy of life has three stages... "In this country, first jou get the money, then jou get the power, then jou get the women."

In my lil domain .. in my narrow scope of reality .. the slice of life that i have gotta deal with ... well i'm working on it ... i've got pseudo-power ..that's power in terms of a title.. with no monetary kick backs.. but to get the positive aspect outta it let's just for arguement's sake say i've conquered the power domain ... and now it's the other two domain's that are left... money is over-rated.. in terms of monetary value pieces of ppr shouldn't dictate our lives... but it's the purchasing power of those pieces of ppr that dictate the course of our lives.. the direction ..the pursuit to those desires .. humm... vanity does play a part ... but none the less... it's when money is spent on the ones that we love that it turns into a beautiful thing... (i told u i'm romantizing even money).... well... yeah.. any way money... will come ..or it 'll go .. it isnt substanial how much we make or much we need... it's abt the good times at the end of it all.. that's what we live for ... and i'm pretty sure i've got it in me to take it all the way... now that leave's the final frontier... ok .... this is an open confession ... i think... or let me say i suppose i think i've an idea ...for somebody i want to spend the rest of my life with... have i asked this person ... NO!!! do i intend to tell this person any time soon ... NO!!! am i romancing this dream a lot ... YES!!! will it work out ..maybe... when do i intend all my loved ones to know abt it... 5 yrs from now... that's right FIVE years from now!! that's right... all decisions come 5 yrs from now... but there has to be some kind of pro-active participation in the involvement of a cpl or something of the sort .. i do agree... but i'm not ready... it's just a euphoric idea.. a concept that i'll be incubating till the time is right.... when will it be right.. I dont know... kinda silly.. aint I? yeah ..silly is what silly does... well any way ... like i said .. i'm this kidult.. who's not sure .. who's not yet ready... if relativity were a reality ... i could have engaged in a more pro-active approach... but it isnt.. and i carry on... will i tell any one ... any time soon.. i dont know... well i love it the way it is as of now... Amen..

Oscar '05

My Oscar predictions ..or who i'd like to see win ..

Best Director: Martin Scorsese

This man has made quite a few good movies in his haydays...Goodfellas, Taxi Driver, i say it's high time he get's his due...

Best Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett

This woman has given us stalwart performances ... and among the lot she deserves it the most (she deserves 2 oscars come to think they gave one away to Haley Berry for Monster's Ball .. ohmygod.. that was a porn flick for crying out loud... all that female every did was cry and fuck...)

Best Supporting Actor: Morgan Freeman

As much as i want to see Jamie Foxx win, this guy deserves it ... Have u seen him in Shawkshank Redemption, Driving Miss Daisy, fuck he lost to Sean Connery the last time he was nominated in this category... i hope he wins this time

Best Actress: Annette Bening

She lost to Hillary Swank last time round... i think she's got a better chance this time round... and let's see how they vote this time ..tides might be in her favor...

Best Actor

this is a tough one ... as much as i loved Jamie Foxx in Ray ... i dont think they'll give it to him .... Sidney Poiter, Denzel Washington... Humm is it time for the academy to pick another black actor as the best i dont know ... the prejudices are not in his favor... Johnny Depp... this is his second nomination in a row ... and has he given outstanding performances tine and again... yes he has ... fuck he might just walk away with it this time... Leonardo Di Caprio ... the second biographical contender in the race... my .. he looks much better off this time ... better than his chances from the Gilbert Grape days... Clint Eastwood... he's 70 freaking 4 ..the man's come up to tell us ..GO AHEAD ..MAKE MY DAY!!! will the academy sway his way.. there's a good chance...

so my predictions for winning the esteemed title would be Eastwood, Depp, Dicaprio and Foxx in that order...

Collingwood Times...

Spent the weekend away on a ski resort ... Collingwood... like i said ealrier .. amazing place.. i've been to desert resorts.. beach resorts ... but lemme tell u this u've to have been at a ski resort to know what it's like ... It's a totally outta this world experience... Hell yeah... It was pretty nasty out there in terms of weather... -24C thru the course of the night sometimes a lil bit more with the wind chilll... but that's not too bad considering that Hamilton was hit bya snow storm and was blanketted by 3ft of snow... so there you have it ... i escaped the freaking white shit storm again... As for what i did there... i drunk my self stupid .. and then regained consciousness and then spent the next day smoking my self stupid... It was divine ... I pulled this chick from western university across the other chalet ... (a slip of the hand and she's a good two storeys away from the ground...) but hey i'm drunk and i give her a puff of my joint ... and away she comes... and then she sez it's her birthday and Anthony pops her beer... well .. she didnt stay for long until she left and we proceeded to their place.. well lets just say things got a bit blurry from their own .. i was stoned off my ass.... had loads of fun though... played a cpl of drinking games... and then hit the sack ...It was good...

today made my first pasta ever ... 'Food and Wine Digest' calls it a new frontier in Pasta... the Chicago Tribune says ..it goes where no pasta sauce has gone before.. The New Yorker calls it an orgasm in your mouth...[howz that for wishful thinkning]

Tyrolean Village

So I'm off to Tyrolean Village... As I hear of it...it's a ski resort on the base of Blue Mountain @ Collingwood. I'll be there over the course of the weekend...with all the MSA brigade ... We'll upto our usual round of "bored meetings"...and probably some snow boarding/skiing and a trekking session ...or a nature walk or something like that...

What's the weather like you ask... today Friday is Sunny at a High of -18°C. later tonight we'll have some snow and a Low of -24°C. The weekend will bestow upon us blowing snow at a Low of -24°C and High of -10°C... Brrr!!!!

As for the happenings of the week.... Avi has got his visa stamped.. Holy Fuck!!! Hallelujah... i gave him a call as soon as i heard... i was uber-thrilled...

Well.. that's it for now ... will punch in more details later.. have been seeing pretty weird dreams lately... now if they are re-occuring i'll punch it out...

K-OS

Yesterday night .... attended the k-os concert.. it was cool... great performance... awesome vibe .. loads of energy ..and it was a very vibrant world music with loads of blends kinda performance .....there was a lotta good energy ...

Ended up realizing something ... i'm turning into some uber-romantic of some kind... everything has freaking romantic overtones to it ..it's hilarious... freaking hilarious ... the inner softie is running the place... everything is u know kinda all abt the love and the peace .. and the harmony and shit... it's freaking awesome when ur high... but otherwise i hope somebody doesnt get a whiff of the inner moron running the place and catch me off guard... must be something to do with what shakesphere said abt the seven ages thing... if it's a passing stage ...i'm up to it .. otherwise ....urghh.... now that's a scary thought..

and i think i've broken my math-tutor jinx... Kathy came up to me yesterday .. and said she passed math... and not just border line but with a pretty good score... and said a big thank you and shit ... well... glad to hear that...maybe the blonde-math jinxed my jinx.. and was some kinda uber fuck up ..well any way it was a good feeling..

got a certifed graphologist to have a look at my handwriting .. and he told me some pretty neat stuff... some of it were bang on ....

as for today... Happy Birthday Chacha!!!

SiLK BOxERS

I feel great today.. Why because i feel i have been able to contribute to a better human life.. how well..let's look at it this way... you look back at your life and see your self in this particular period of time and see and feel or wished how perhaps things could have been better .. if only someone was there to look out for you.. someone was there to watch out for you .. i mean we've all at some point of time wanted it .. atleast i have.. since i've this unending need/desire/thirst that i cannot quench to empathise with ppl ..put myself in their shoes ... i guess it's my working strategy... put urself in the other persons shoes kinda thing.. see what they'd want ..they'd like done..any way to quit the rambling and to get specific...

Today January the 17th, 2005... happens to be Tina's birthday... she turns 17... WoW!!! a millennium ago i used to be 17... and in some odd way she reminds me of me... away from home ... in the middle of no where in a totally new place... with absolute strangers around you... with none of the comforts of home ...and further more unlike any of the other 16 birthdays you've had on the planet ..this one will be for the very first time that u are away from everything that was familiar to u.... kinda strangely odd... for the fragile mind of a 17 ... how did i feel abt it... i was for one not happiest ppl on my 17th... i was bitching and whining and complaining and oh jesus all that rage ...must have been the testostreone going bonkers... well... as i look at it... if there was any way i could make this kid's b'day any better than the one i had eons ago... being in the very same shoes she was in ... i had a handle of things .. but since it's me things have to have that extra bit of shall we say life's way of saying lemme see u get past that......the geographical disposition was going to be a setback ....

so thanks to that wonderful invention - the digital dog leash aka the MOBILE...i got in touch with a friend of mine... another acquaintance from when i was in those late teens ... we did a lil bit of growing up together shall we say... and i might add learnt quite a few life lessons from each other... saw some real nasty shit.. went thru stuff that moulded us into who we are today ... it must have the intensity of human emotions we shared together that a single cellphone conversation got him to set aside time for lil ol'me off his busy schedule...

and how does this grand plan of mine come to life.. i ask Deepak ... to go in search of the perfect gift ... well ... since i had this vague kinda idea that she might appreciate a CD ... being an Eminem fan in her haydays.. i honestly didnt know her present musical disposition as of today but only went with a gut feeling she might appreciate the idea behind it ...

why am i punching this all down.. i guess .. i'm putting some vanquished souls to rest...it's not demons .. it's this 17 yr old in me that needs to be heard ... that needs to live again..that needs to come to terms with life ...to be able to bring to rest that 17 yr old.. and move on ... that's what it's all abt.. and since it's a self less act that in all intentions is intended to mean more to her than it does to me .. it will in turn mean more to me...

well back to the actual happenings ... i sent deepak on an errand to get T a gift ..which i hear he was able to get her in time... and he tells me... talking to her reminded him of me.... see it's all abt that teenager we once were....and how we first met...uncanny as it may seem... and i guess being around em ...kinda sends u reliving it ..and puts that zest back in life... but the second time around ..u have that know-how of the boo-boos that happen the first time round.. so now the predicament is all abt do u wanna be a spoil sport and give em the parental NO! or the enjoy life u live it just once... right now i'm trying to be on both the boats.. it's a nehruvian dream of the mixed economy thing...the best of both worlds.. but we all know what happens is the kinda the opposite.. let's not side track here...

the point of the matter is... i'm offically calling `05 the year of love...the giving kind... i wanna be around ..in spirit in person .. a phone call ... an email... i have a lotta inner wounds that need healing... and i guess true human interaction with the ppl u love might be the only way to heal em... once again ...thank you life for giving me another chance...thank you friends for showing me what it means to be around.... thank you from the bottom of my heart....

the inner peace n tranquility i feel.... to put into persepective... you might just metamorphasize in to matter... Imagine ... every man on the planet wearing Silk Boxers.... that's how divine it feels.....the pure symphony of SILK BOxERS!!!

Wee.... Pee.... Lakshmikutty

Yes ladies and gentelmen there you have it .... The year has greeted me with another title... I'm MSA Wee.... Pee.... Lakshmikutty... for those of you who didn't get it... MSA VP Exec... Mohawk Student Association Vice President Executive... I got the nomination package on the 12th at 10am... came back an hour and half later... with 75 ppl that had signed off ... i had it made... but i thought i might have some one running against me ... but what do you know.. i just got thru ...

It's GOODDDDDDD!!!

"CHIN-ju Node ChodheEe Queue"

I'm back after a much needed break ... I feel rejuvenated... I feel nourished ... I feel GOOOOOOOOOOOOD......... It's been ages since that's happened but lemme tell u this it's an awesome feeling....

Unlike how I usually land up next to a grumpy ol'fart .. this time my flight was different ... I had a decent chick sitting next to me on my flight from dammam to amsterdam ... and what was my first utterence... to her... (i must admit she was looking rather uptight...) ..I said... "For starters ... I Snore... ".. and lo and behold she bursts out laughing ... which i guess was a good sign.. any way .. stirred up a healthy conversation ... the flight were late but not horrendously so ... i had the usual array of hiccups i have at airports across the globe especially in saudi arabia... but years of trying to tame this donkey has been anything but successful for the saudis.... so here i am unscathed by the tribulations that would bring mere mortal passengers to their knees...

As for my holiday... it was by far the best one i've had in this quarter century on the planet... Yes... THE BEST holiday yet.. It came at a time when i needed it the most .. IT had all the ppl i needed to see and be with the most ... we did all the things that holidayers should do ...and it was my little trip to an utopia we created ... we nourished and bade our farewells to .. and i guess each of us will treasure in his or her minds in his or her ways the exact recreation of it all ...as for what was this perfect holiday like ... that is a question for which u'll have to: "CHIN-ju Node ChodheEe Queue"

Karma Accountant

It's great to start the year with the karmic ledgers balnced out ..and you ring in all the good karma to jump start the year... I mean it's family and friends ..they're just NOS for your karma... All the positive good energy around you ...this must be heaven... yes i must be on the 'Stairway to Heaven' ....

When dreams aspirations and the little things in life that you've hoped for just come true ... It's so uplifting ..it makes you believe.. believe..in people ... in love .. in hope... in the virtues of the human spirit... i'vent felt so good about myself... about the people around me ... about each and every single thing about life... ever... i guess.... If this is a sign of the happy times in life... I'm grateful ... For everything.. for this moment ..for all the people i've met along the way... for all the learning experiences in life i've had...

To aspire of anything of me ..of what i can and could have had eluded me ... but now ... I feel re-energized ...yes ...the vigor the vitality the spirit and zest for life ... to face life head on ... to take up every obstacle there is to come ...and what is the kryptonite you need to keep you going... All you need is to remember the sweetest cutest innocent gurgling babies around you...how they waddle around and talk in that divine baby tongue only babies can ...and how you remember how those kids you used to carry around just till yesterday are as big or bigger than you ... how those tadpole like hairless babies of yesterday ...cum up with the cutest jokes today....babies/kids ... it's just amazing how much karmic energy they possess.. the spirit of innocence... each time they call out your name ..they fill you with all that is their's and more...much more..... An epitome of love.....when they call out to you... it's just divine... to feel wanted ..how i cherish the caring the giving the currency to immortality ... Innocence... the schemes they hatch... their mickey mouse infatuations ...the chuckling laughter .... oh god...lock me up in this time warp where all that happens are these events over and over again...

I've always been the big 1..... never was i the one who could get away with a a shrill scream.... I'd always to give way to the younger ones .. in the process some where along the way the resentment and why me died ..giving way to the eternal big brother.... and for once in my life i'm so happy about it.. i'm in tears.... to ave had everyone under one roof... for these cpl of days ...days i cross my heart not to forget as long as my memory doesnt fail me......in each of their eyes i see me...saying doing something i once did .. i once said....and to be around when they want me would be nice... but i've never truly been a proactive part in their lives have i .. if there is ever a new year's resolution i'd like to take is to be a more active part of their lives ... who am i kidding.... the circle of life has eluded me from the major part of their lives so far.. will they accept me... or am i too old to be included... have they shown me the door .... or am i that weird wacko who shows up once in awhile ... and then just disappears to em....i guess i can always go back to that land of make believe in my head for solace and comfort...or if the new year is any sign of things to come ... there might be a tsunami in the channels of communication....

my life has taken quite a few detours ...but i learnt it's never a race with anyone but yourself... and i've battled a lot of my inner demons ..exorcized those fears that kept haunting me ... it's a matter of conviction i guess... and it's taken quarter of a century....for me to get somewhere in the vicinity of ..or so i think...

Let me come to a close ....with words from Luhrmann:

"Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. "

I Love You

I truly believe ...I belong to a community of people that comprise the greatest group of buddies that exist on the planet ... and if there was ever an exercise to prove the fact of well we get along .. how much we bond .. of much we enjoy each others company of how truly we share amoungst ourselves the enduring aspect of what as grown way beyond the confines of friendship ... it was the night of revelery we had celebrating christmas eve/new years... It is in the proximity of the heart soul and sweat.... that one experiences the true joys of life...

I could clutter sentences with adjectives of the highest denomination in trying to express what would not even come close to the shallow end of how much fun we had together... it's times like that the true meaning of the of the power of the human spirit is witnessed.... Together we have championed every human emotion ... And that makes me feel good .. It makes me innately happy... I feel elated ..so very in fact .. it is an almost divine experience...

I thank the cosmos to have let it occur... I thank every one for being there... I am deeply indebted to my folks friends and family for everything that has happened and is due to happen...

thank you .. Thank You.. Thank You.....

I love you ......