Chicken Soup For The Horny Soul

There you have it ... Here I am finally punching out something fiarly readable and coherent... Amoung the vast majority of ideas and thoughts that has had my mind walloping through .. I have come to terms taht not punching it down is not working in my favor but rather a look at it in the verse does mend and tend to the dilapidated soul with in...

So where do i begin ... The last couple of days has been rather hectic to say the least... been busy with college activities... Orientation and stuff... the honest to god truth is to get away from the solitary confinement i call my residence... now that i dont enjoy a really hard core solitary confinement... But for a guy who has been a Vagabond since he was 16.... i lived on my own since... and 8 years later people put a curfew on you ... what time you get home .. how much of access you get to a PC... how much of TV you watch .... low and behold here me rumble .... ,,,, ... there you have it ... my response.... ppl keep asking me why they dont see me online why i aint doing stuff like download a movie or two a teleseries or two a game .. a cpl of 1000 mp3s.. coz i fucking dont have access tothe one true love of my life ... a Computer god damn it.... Hey i remember when i was in any solitary confinement ..back home in jeddah, my PC died on me for no particular reason and i couldn't get it work after half dozen fuck fests i had with it .. so i had sent down to the shop and i get back home... i wake up in the morning and for once i felt alone and scared being alone... so i walked down to Avi's place... now is that a sign of how pathetic i am... and now they tell me i cant have a PC to access at my own leisurely pace.. fuck that shit Fecal dissmissive!!! ... Oh well !!! When life kicks me in the nuts i've learnt not to take it lying down there ... been around the bloack far too many times to know that... I get right up ..maybe it takes a while but i'm back at game... I feel like a cornered animal most of the time... People push me into that corner.. and i hybernate in there ....in that distant lonely corner of mine away from humanity ..turing into an agorophobic... is it doing me any good .. i highly doubt it ... but atleast that way i get to collect my thoughts and come back at you.. and honest to god.. u dont want to be on the wrong side of the fence when i'm out on the prowl...

The number of times i've lost the simple pleasures of life is unfathomable... I hear stories from the kids i love .. and i shudder within .... tragic ...absolutely pathetic i thought i carried the cross for them all... Leaving home at 16 isnt pleasant ... far from it rather .. and today the scars have healed .. u've picked at the scabs long enough... and you thought it had all come to an end... In the words of Michael Corleone.. Just when you thought it was all over.. they pull u back in ... Jethro ...my baby brother u didnt have hose tears u did... u dont have to go thru the pain of losing family ... that was supposed to be all over.. Tearing the fabric of family and dispersing it over the globe is the most hiedous crime one can ever come it .. take siblings away from each other in the prime of their youth... absolutely catstophic... it must be the work of satan... it must be the cain and abel he wants us to dwell with in each of us... the sheer agony of it all...

those kids are so full of love for each other and the people around them.. one look into their eyes and u can see an eternity of love fly by ...why have they forsaken thee? and here in the artic capitalist jungle.... a latchkey generation breeds where love is a FMCG..and lasts only as long as u can provide with em the item on the shelf with all the bells and whistles... they lack the glow in the eyes ... u see and void ..a darkness.. an incomprehensible generic garble that was picked up from the boob tube is what reiterates for spoken language... there is no finesse .. no true picture of their emotions ... their gestures capture nosings of happiness.. it's so shallow... it hurts to see the slime bags pursue their lives ....disgusting... and even more so is the fact there are those amidst them who mimmick this scavenger way of life... how much lower down the food chain and circle of life can u go...

As the average reader can feel the venting of negative energy ... which is my last goal out of this ... i shall get back at this when my mind can conceive a angelic creature .. and not the demonicbeast that will most likely be the beast of this fornication ...