Karma Accountant

It's great to start the year with the karmic ledgers balnced out ..and you ring in all the good karma to jump start the year... I mean it's family and friends ..they're just NOS for your karma... All the positive good energy around you ...this must be heaven... yes i must be on the 'Stairway to Heaven' ....

When dreams aspirations and the little things in life that you've hoped for just come true ... It's so uplifting ..it makes you believe.. believe..in people ... in love .. in hope... in the virtues of the human spirit... i'vent felt so good about myself... about the people around me ... about each and every single thing about life... ever... i guess.... If this is a sign of the happy times in life... I'm grateful ... For everything.. for this moment ..for all the people i've met along the way... for all the learning experiences in life i've had...

To aspire of anything of me ..of what i can and could have had eluded me ... but now ... I feel re-energized ...yes ...the vigor the vitality the spirit and zest for life ... to face life head on ... to take up every obstacle there is to come ...and what is the kryptonite you need to keep you going... All you need is to remember the sweetest cutest innocent gurgling babies around you...how they waddle around and talk in that divine baby tongue only babies can ...and how you remember how those kids you used to carry around just till yesterday are as big or bigger than you ... how those tadpole like hairless babies of yesterday ...cum up with the cutest jokes today....babies/kids ... it's just amazing how much karmic energy they possess.. the spirit of innocence... each time they call out your name ..they fill you with all that is their's and more...much more..... An epitome of love.....when they call out to you... it's just divine... to feel wanted ..how i cherish the caring the giving the currency to immortality ... Innocence... the schemes they hatch... their mickey mouse infatuations ...the chuckling laughter .... oh god...lock me up in this time warp where all that happens are these events over and over again...

I've always been the big 1..... never was i the one who could get away with a a shrill scream.... I'd always to give way to the younger ones .. in the process some where along the way the resentment and why me died ..giving way to the eternal big brother.... and for once in my life i'm so happy about it.. i'm in tears.... to ave had everyone under one roof... for these cpl of days ...days i cross my heart not to forget as long as my memory doesnt fail me......in each of their eyes i see me...saying doing something i once did .. i once said....and to be around when they want me would be nice... but i've never truly been a proactive part in their lives have i .. if there is ever a new year's resolution i'd like to take is to be a more active part of their lives ... who am i kidding.... the circle of life has eluded me from the major part of their lives so far.. will they accept me... or am i too old to be included... have they shown me the door .... or am i that weird wacko who shows up once in awhile ... and then just disappears to em....i guess i can always go back to that land of make believe in my head for solace and comfort...or if the new year is any sign of things to come ... there might be a tsunami in the channels of communication....

my life has taken quite a few detours ...but i learnt it's never a race with anyone but yourself... and i've battled a lot of my inner demons ..exorcized those fears that kept haunting me ... it's a matter of conviction i guess... and it's taken quarter of a century....for me to get somewhere in the vicinity of ..or so i think...

Let me come to a close ....with words from Luhrmann:

"Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. "